It’s discouraging to read about Jeff Bezos divorce and the relationship he had with his wife of 25 years. A brief paragraph has been given to the media saying ‘we’ve had a good run, after exploring different options we’re calling it quits but we’re gonna be friends and still work together.’ It’s as if it’s unavoidable. Jeff Bezos and his wife are two of the richest people in the world and what can we learn from that; divorce doesn’t discriminate. All over the news already just hours after their divorce was announced apparently he’s dating someone else. How long has this deception of the heart been going on? Divorce just doesn’t stay nice and clean, it gets messy no matter what people think or how amicable it was. Despite the headlines of Jeff Bezos divorce, it’s not just about he and his wife either.
Divorce is avoidable
Our culture today suggests divorce as an option like a one click option on Amazon. Well, I’m sorry to break it to you but thousands of people don’t make that choice. Much like making a purchase on Amazon, scouring reviews, reading about it, looking at other websites, and talking about it many people like you choose to stay married. You’d think Jeff might have asked Alexa ‘Hey Alexa, clear my schedule so I can work on my marriage.’ I don’t know if he actually has tried to work on his marriage or not. I’ll never know that. However, in most circumstances, and in most relationships making the choice to divorce is avoidable (even if infidelity is part of the equation).
I’m not pretending that high-profile couples like Jeff and his wife, or any other kind of couple don’t have their work cut out for them. All marriages do Marriage takes work— a lot of it. Even though my wife and I are both working professionals (who’s net worth is at least 5 zeros behind the decimal point of Jeff Bezos) we still struggle. We choose to have the touch conversations and manage conflict not matter what. Paraphrasing author John Mayer, you have to work at keeping your marriage fresh, exciting, romantic, attentive, and intellectually stimulating. Similarly, my wife and I take the time to invest in one another. Prioritize one another. Take precautions to defend your marriage against what can tear it apart. As a professional counselor I can tell you with confidence divorce is avoidable. You have to put the work in though to get the reward.
Divorces doesn’t discriminate
Another lesson we can learn from Jeff Bezos divorce is that divorce doesn’t discriminate. You might think he and his wife have everything you could imagine— you know, those what if I won the lottery fantasies we all have. However, being one of the richest couples in the world doesn’t make you immune. You’re not immune from it if you’re a heterosexual couple, a LGTBQ couple, an Asian couple, a religious couple, an educated couple, a young couple, or an old couple. I believe it doesn’t discriminate because it’s really an issue of the heart.
Divorce is often riddled with deception of the heart
More and more is becoming known about Jeff Bezos divorce. People is reporting (within hours after their divorce announcement) that he is now dating news anchor Lauren Sanchez — who is also getting divorced at the same time. Did Mrs. Bezos know? Probably at some point. The real problem though is the deception of the heart. We don’t need to read about a high-profile couple to know that when people divorce there has been a deception of the heart.
There’s tons of research out there about divorce that proves this. Deception of the heart could be based on or the source of blatant lies, and cheating. It can cause a broken heart and lead to the train wreck of this form of relationship trauma. Alternatively though, deception of the heart could begin on much smaller and in less hurtful ways. Maybe it starts with you not telling your spouse how they just hurt your feelings. Do you need to hear more encouraging and uplifting statements from them? Should you apologize for being selfish. You should be intentional about going out on dates. Talk about your dreams together. Don’t settle for mediocre sex. Most importantly, you have to talk about it. Stop this deception in it’s tracks. You see deception of the heart begins small. Don’t let it cause a big mess. If you need help get it.
Divorce gets messy
In the next few days and weeks I’m sure more about Jeff and his wife is going to come to light. I don’t know what it is, but I reasonably certain it could get messy. I’m sure the media is going to have a hay day with it because they have to. After all, if there’s no drama, there’s no news. People are already talking about the impact of the divorce. Amazon share holders. Amazon itself. Lets not forget about their kids and family members.
I believe that no matter how amicable anyone’s divorce is, divorce is just plain messy. How does divorce the impact kids involved? Where does your loyalty rest as an individual friend or as a couple friends with someone who divorces? What about family? What about your co-workers, or even in some cases your job? When will it end? I believe it’s a life long mess to manage. It’s up to you how you respond to it. You can sweep under the rug, move on, and try to pretend it didn’t happen. Or, you can get through it successfully. I hope you don’t wallow in the middle of it the rest of your life.
Finally, we know that you know it divorce impacts others, most importantly you.
Great Lakes Wellness Counseling Can Help
Professional counselors Great Lakes Wellness Counseling recognize it must be incredibly difficult to being thinking about divorce. Please know that help is there for you and your marriage. Wether you’ve had your first big fight, or you’ve had the same argument for months divorce doesn’t have to be the option if you don’t want it too. Many couples seek counseling in order to make their relationship the best they can and it works—they put the time, finances, and work in with their counseling and avoid divorce to move on toward their happily ever after marriage and you can too. Contact us today to schedule an appointment where you reimagine and reconnect in your marriage today.
Nathan Hansen, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and owner of Great Lakes Wellness Counseling. He and the staff at Great Lakes Wellness Counseling help clients find real solutions for changed lives and works with them providing the expert care they value.